Subtlety

It took me a while after I got into my thirties to understand about youth. As it has been waning from my experience, I have encountered various flavors of anxiety. I realized, as I was acknowledging that I likely have as long to live as I've yet been a live, that I am not proud of who I was when I was 18. I mean, I don't regret who I was... it was part of my process. But aside from the strength and vitality, I do not miss my outlook, my lack of social graces, my lack of wisdom, my compensatory arrogance, my dreadful sensual life, my insecurity, etc. In fact, the list of things I am relieved that I don't experience every day now, in my thirties, is by far weightier than the list of things I wish I could experience again. While my reality may not be capable of the raw vigor I possessed in my youth, my experience has offered me the wisdom to know when a small dose of vitality can have a greater impact than awesome strength. And that's what I thought of when I saw the moonlight making this barely perceptible rainbow. It's not as strong or powerful or overwhelming as a bright daylight rainbow, but it exerts an awesome fascination through its well-timed and placed subtlety.